Trouble Makers & Drama queens



 I am dramatic. It’s no secret. I love performing to an audience. I love making others laugh. I love entertaining. 

I’m emotional. It’s true. I cry easily. I laugh easily. I feel so much. I want to reach out and hug and fix the broken world we live in. Yes, I live by my emotions.

Do I exaggerate for comedic effect? Yes! It’s just not as funny to say that cactus got stuck to the back of my trousers. Far funnier if I sat on it! The humour of being chased by two sheep becomes hilarity if it’s ten! 


Do I lie? Cause trouble? Have histrionics about things that are unimportant or minor? 


No. 


Because I’m not a terrible person. I don’t lie about important things like abuse. It’s far too real and it would be awful of me to do so. 

I don’t exaggerate a story of someone hurting me. Because it would be wrong and wouldn’t help me in any way to recover. 

I don’t cause a fuss over nothing. I know the story of the boy who cried wolf.... the girl who cried sexual assault. So no, I don’t misconstrue, misunderstand or blow things out of proportion. I take time to analyse. Work out where I may be at fault. Work out what exactly happened and why. Sometimes this analysis works against me. It makes me question my gut reaction. Makes me kinder than I should be. 


I don’t go out of my way to hurt people. If I hurt you it is either by accident or you very much came looking for it. Either way, I am immensely forgiving. I give endless second chances. I believe in restorative practice in all aspects of life. So if I’m wrong, talk to me. I will probably acknowledge it, apologise and try to make amends. I will definitely listen and discuss rationally like an adult. (Unless I’m dreadfully upset in which case it’s surely obvious that no conversation is going to be successful?). 

I have been told that I put too much store by what others think of me and it is true. I do care. I care if people think I am good and kind, because I strive HARD to be so. Not because I want congratulations or accolades. I just want to know I’m getting it right. I worry a lot about that. 

So I struggle when the community I spend time in doubts me. I struggle when credence is given to those who damaged me. When people value the man who made me feel vulnerable. It hurts. I feel like I’m viewed as, at best, a trouble maker. At worst, a liar. 


And that destroys me a little bit. Every time it happens. 

When you boost him, tag him, recommend him, validate him..... you deplete me. Undervalue my story. Diminish my worth and question my truth. I know for many it’s a hard choice. So I will make it for you. I will be muting those who mention him. I will send you ONE message that says. 

You’ve tagged me alongside someone who has desperately hurt me. If you don’t know who that is then I understand. I wish I could tell the world his name but I can’t.  If you do know then I ask you to think about the message you send to victims when you continue to endorse the perpetrators. Enough people know. It’s time to look deeper at those we hold in esteem. They may appear to be moral and righteous and yet their equality does not cover all aspects of their actions or beliefs. 

I am sure I can be accused of many things. I’m sure I have used the wrong words, included the wrong people in things, taught the wrong history, read the wrong books. But I have tried my best to be good to other humans. 

Unfortunately my faith in kindness is waning. I don’t quite know who to trust anymore. People who said they were friends stepped away, others who offered support and friendship removed it on a whim. Those who claim to care & stand alongside me continue to also promote the man who hurt me. 

There is very little trust left in me. 

Yours. A troubled trouble maker. A tragic drama Queen.







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